The College Fix

When kids get bored, what’s a modern mom to do?

Two weeks into summer vacation, and my 8-year-old daughter is already bored. She plops on the couch and looks at me for something to do. I look at my husband, like … really? We’re just two weeks in.

“Why not go see if you’re friend down the street can play,” my husband suggests to her in an attempt to solve the problem. I almost jumped out of my chair.

“What?” I cried. “We can’t just send our daughter down the street alone and unannounced!”

He looked at me. “Remember when we were growing up, we could just go to someone’s house and knock on the door and ask if they could play,” he said.

“Yes,” I sighed, images of growing up in the 80s rolling around in my mind — tree houses, wilderness adventures, unsupervised playdates. “I remember. But it’s not how it’s done nowadays.”

No, today if my daughter wants to play with her friend down the street the mandatory prerequisite is the text to the mom — a request, a ping. Then the waiting begins. Can they, can’t they? Will they, won’t they? Usually if there is no advanced warning, chances are grim.

“Sorry hunny, they can’t today. We’ll try another time.”

Cellphones ruined spontaneity. Phone calls to police when children are seen walking down the street alone, combined with free-range shaming, means kids don’t go anywhere without the watchful eye of a grown up. And technology, with its constant entertainment and visual stimuli, has created an army of young people (and older people) who cannot stand ten minutes alone with themselves.

Yes, I’m being a little dramatic. But I wonder whether today’s young people are better off.

I, for one, am so grateful I grew up before the Internet, Facebook, gaming and cellphones took over the world and made us all zombies with neckaches.

But back to my 8-year-old daughter. She already spent the morning at “girl camp” and an hour in the afternoon at a Krav Maga lesson.

“She’s fine,” I told my husband. “She’s done enough today. She is allowed to be bored.”

I said it with some authority because I just read an article headlined “Psychologists recommend children be bored in the summer.”

“There are activities and summer camps galore to fill children’s time and supply much needed childcare when kids are out of school. But psychologists and child development experts suggest that over-scheduling children during the summer is unnecessary and could ultimately keep kids from from discovering what truly interests them,” it reported.

It resonated very strongly with me. I’ve taken to telling my daughter “it’s ok to be bored. Go use your imagination.”

And, of course, I shared the article on my Facebook feed!

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