Queer sex tutorials or a good dinner?
Two recent news reports from The Fix offer a nice contrast between the sexual ethic of the modern campus and the preferable alternative to which that ethic might eventually fall. The first: At Vanderbilt University, campus officials offer students a variety of workshops and programs centered around ever-more-bizarre interpretations of human sexuality. Among those workshops: One that teaches students “kink,” e.g. bondage, dominance fantasies, pseudo-violent sexual toys, and the like; students can also attend a “queer sex” workshop, the title of which probably accurately reflects the content itself. These programs are in part meant to help students in “fostering communication skills in romantic partnerships.” Good luck.
Compare that with writer Mona Charen’s latest book, “Sex Matters,” in which she proposes that colleges teach students about “dating and the importance of getting to know people and not sleeping around and of not hooking up.” Heaven forfend: Any campus which undertook such a project would surely be liable to round-the-clock protests from the local feminist brigade, a constituency which has placed an absolute value on “sleeping around” and “hooking up.” College sexual politics tend to absolutely balk at the thoughtful and prudent idea of “getting to know people” before jumping into bed with them. The toxic mix of ever-flowing booze and health center employees handing out condoms at every opportunity tends to guarantee this sort of thing.
Of these two schools of thought, the campus sexual bureaucracy is in a better position to win out: It is entrenched, and it has the advantage of telling a great many young people exactly what they want to hear. Then again, this approach to sexual culture invariably contains a disadvantage: It is emotionally and mentally exhausting, in a way that leads many people to abandon it altogether. It will likely be a while before we see the return of the healthy dating culture which Charen is advocating, if at all. But there is good reason to believe that it will, eventually, make a comeback.
“Our culture has misled young men and women about some of the most important ingredients for human happiness and thriving,” Charen says. Just so: There is a path to a healthy and successful life, and sadomasochistic sex-toy workshops are arguably not part of it.
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