William FitzGerald, an associate professor at Rutgers University-Camden and a scholar of rhetoric, civility, and argument, has a few tips to offer when it comes to keeping the peace at the Thanksgiving table this Thursday.
With Donald Trump’s re-election, tensions are high. FitzGerald said there are a few ways to avoid turning family and friends into enemies on turkey day.
Rutgers News reported:
Remember why you are there
To celebrate our blessings as individuals, and as a nation, despite differences of opinion. What unites us is greater than what divides us. It is helpful to remember, too, that holidays are a call to come together – think of these as official days off from partisan politics and other disagreements.
Are you spoiling for a fight?
Ahead of time, reflect and decide what you want. Are you spoiling for a fight, even if it means ruining the holiday for hosts and guests? If you are the host, how can you present yourself as hospitable and welcoming? If you are a guest, what does it mean to be gracious in your host’s home? Someone will probably provoke you, intentionally or otherwise, so it is wise to be prepared.
Look for common ground
Discuss topics like politics in terms of shared hopes and interests rather than identity politics. Express commonplace sentiments such as being thankful the presidential election is behind us; and, perhaps, the new administration will be successful.
Resist snark
Refrain from any kind of gloating or scapegoating. Above all, do not blame your relatives and friends for things out of their direct control, particularly political control. The holiday dinner table is not an extension of the comments section of your favorite news outlet or opinion of your favorite online influencer.
Avoid speechmaking
Because politics invariably will come up, ask questions but avoid speechmaking. Take an active interest in what others think rather than mount counterarguments (especially “what about…” retorts). This strategy can defuse tense situations when someone wants to start an argument.
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